Dare me!
Who are we, after one or two drinks, when the alcohol starts talking and taking over our body and mind?
I’ve heard from somewhere, that whenever a confession comes from the mouth of a drunk tongue, pay close attention! Always expect to find the best version of whatever truth is there to be told because a drunk man’s words are definitely a sober man’s innermost thoughts!
In all truth, drunk or just tipsy, some of us tend to show the truest forms of ourselves. That masked forbidden urge or that sudden intense thought, to let go and just be naughty and liberated if only for this one time.
For most, alcohol acts like a truth serum… all filters off and what emerges at that moment is our true feelings. The other silent person within, our second self, doing and saying everything we’ve been too afraid to say or to do.
Well, you can say I am very reticent about my personal affairs, but today you might as well go ahead and take this chance for a good dare… laughing out loud because I’ve been drinking, and my thoughts are raging!
So go ahead, dare me! Tomorrow, maybe I will have to learn to live with the regrets of yesterday, for I am willing to risk it all for this high today!
Pressing my bare arms against the warm glass of my eighth-floor apartment window, I inhaled slowly, taking in the warmth of the city’s evening summer sun. In the distance I could see families at play with their kids, tables beautifully decorated, by the laughter of an intimate summer evening. This was nothing new, it was the usual Saturday guilty pleasures of my New-York neighbor’s, but today it all felt and looked different with that pleasurable high I was on.
Smiling, I turned following the familiar echoes of the sweet burst of laughter. There they were, my next-door neighbors with friends and their adorable identical twin girls, singing and skipping along, occasionally stopping to touch the parked strollers. The street seemed busier and louder or was it because, I thought with a sudden burst of laughter.
On a normal Saturday, I would be done with my cleaning and now would be sitting on my patio with a glass of wine reading and browsing through a magazine looking for inspiration for my hobby… interior decorating!
Everything felt normal, except for this feeling. It was almost like a forced obsession, a stranger in my head, that was persistent and knew all the dares I needed today. A sweet voice daring me to let loose, to uncurl my upper lip and uncage whatever restrained naughtiness, I had been suppressing. It was daring me to be someone besides this shy goodie Tush Chee I was!
What the hell… I am feeling myself… Laughing my butt off!
Of course, I have been drinking, slowly sipping on my chilled Prosecco and peach purée, garnished with sprinkled powdered cinnamon cocktail. Licking around the rim of the glass, capturing every bit of the taste. Yum, the best thing ever, my tongue wiping my lips. These sexually arousing forbidden thoughts were new to me. I have always been aware of my sensitivity to alcohol and had been careful until today.
My buzz is on!
Tipsy, and I was loving everything about this new sense of erotic freedom. I want to be unleashed and untamed. Ooh yeah, laughing out loud… I am definitely feeling myself, awakened in so many ways. Shuffling around my vinyl records with a smile, I placed the needle down, twirling around to Beres Hammond Rock Away. Singing to the lyrics to his words… Those were the days when love use to reign, when we danced all night to the songs they played.
Listening to Beres Hammond, always had this way of making you feel warm, sexy and uninhibited. Let’s say for a Caribbean person, anytime we hear any Caribbean jam, our blood starts moving with the beat and the words will carry you back to your days of young.
For me, it was this warm kind of fuzzy feeling, of what the good old days, back home in my tiny village felt like. The love and warmth we shared, especially on an evening like today, where the sweet sounds of slow reggae played. People in my small village, would be drinking, sipping on island rum or some good homemade juices. Sitting in the front veranda, listening to echoes of laughter, slowly moving to music was what a day of leisure was for us! Wiggling every inch of their bodies, they danced, while us kids played only where we could be seen.
On such a Saturday, Chinnie skip was one of my favorite games! Gyrating your body as a girl in any form was forbidden, an attention we were taught at an early age wasn’t appropriate.
This feeling of diffidence, I lived with as an adult, had been there from an early age. This unconscious bias from our parents and older family members that girls should be seen and not heard, in the pursuit to be considered a good woman in society one day was partly why I needed to be uncaged. Life as a good woman, even more restrained. Being that young girl, who loved music and dancing, always craved for the day that I would be able, to allow my body to vibe to whatever beat I wanted to, but even as an adult, that too in some mental capacity was still controlled. Today, I am about to break all the rules…
I feel hot in so many ways! So many forbidden thoughts racing through in my head. Wishing I wasn’t that single friend. The one night, I prayed that things were different between my long-distance friend and myself. A lot had happened to change our situation. Decisions had to be made that eventually ended what we had, but tonight I was feening to be touched, for I didn’t know if I would ever be her… this person I was today again. Smiling, a little shy and a bit bothered by my thoughts, I downed every last bit, in my glass. Filled with the euphoria of the music and my drink, I wanted to get naked, dancing, gyrating every inch of my body to the music! To hell with all that pride, tired of this debonair behavior. I am letting it all hang loose. Heck, I might dare myself to even ****
Ooh yeah, this is this feel-good feeling that my friends sometimes boasted about! That excusable one time, you would be given a pass for almost anything hmmm, my fingers gently massaging my lips.
Unbothered I undressed to my cute boy shorts, complimented by a matching braless tank top, twirling around I modeled in the mirror. Gosh, I look damn cute as I swayed my body in the oversized mirror posted against my wall. Seductively, walking across to my living room window I reached out drawing the long, dark, custom-made curtains exposing the beauty, of the floor to ceiling windows to my eighth floor apartment in New York City. I love this place and worked so hard for the comfortableness, I now lived.
Eyes rolling… there they were as always.
Every time his son visited, which had been often recently, I would be sitting on my patio, but tonight I had plans for my peering neighbors. They were about to have the best view to a private show that will leave them wanting for more. Laughing out loud… I wanted to show them what rocking away, drunk and feeling risqué’ looked and felt like.
Here, I was on the height of my mood, doing all the forbidden moves from my childhood. Twirling and circling my waistline around, jamming to the music, feeling sexy, naughty and deliberately avoiding the noticing, admiring eyes of my across the street neighbors. I was in total control, and I was loving this wild feeling of being totally liberated, as the weakness from my buzz welcomed a sudden burst of laughter from my intrusive thoughts… (chuckles) hmm, Naughty!
Who are you? This inside voice kept pressing.
I liked everything about this new sensual and passionate being that I was feeling. Biting on my lower lips, remembering months before receiving a handwritten note from my neighbor’s son, who was now lounged in a chair, on his father’s patio.
“Would love to invite you out to dinner sometime, in the near future, always admiring Dr. Cunningham!” His name and number attached.
Couldn’t quite remember why I never responded but tonight I was ready to show Dr. Cunningham and his father, what a sexy, carefree, drunk Caribbean Goddess was all about, and I had no intentions of letting them down. I was loving this new role, especially knowing that my audiences were unaware of my purposeful indecent behavior. Wanted to give him a taste of what he might be getting into if I dare accept his proposal.
The heat of their eyes today intense with such a welcome annoyance, any other day it would be just a freaking annoyance!
Oh goodness, this feeling of losing all self-control is indeed satisfying.
Stop… this unsuspecting voice in my head called out! With an almost guilty sigh, I inveigled myself to continue, loving this carefreeness. There was no need to be classy, polished, or self-contained… not today.
They watched my every motion, as I carefully glanced from the corner of my eye. Calculatedly, I wiggled, gyrating my body with every beat of the music, tickling them with this one-woman show. Slowly, I move towards the bare window, cleaning and dusting, purposely bending over, flashing the fullness of my breast to offer a quick flash, as I watch both father and son drool over my salacious behavior. We were all, mere strangers in each other’s world, but for tonight, within my dark shades of grey thoughts and this alcohol, Dr Cunningham was mine.
Except for the occasional patio conversations, the morning compliments on my way to work, the quick hellos on the Starbuck line, after my early Saturday morning runs and the dinner invite that was left unanswered, we were all just friendly neighbors. Truthfully, I couldn’t even recall my neighbor’s first name, which he recited every single time we crossed paths.
Glancing…by their look and obvious conversation, I wish to be a fly on that wall. I gobbled the attention but was starving to know what this father and son conversation was about. I imagined with every flirtatious move my body made, the libidinous thoughts in Dr. Cunningham’s mind, as I purposely and gently arched my body back up and walked to the kitchen giggling girlishly.
Fools… shaking my head.
How easily it was to turn a man on, I thought. Allowing them enough time to regain total composure, I stopped pouring the last of my bottle, before heading back to my well-orchestrated show. Despite this high I was on, still there was this tiny part of me, this shy whisper in my head, wishing for the chairs to be empty, as I walked back to my living room, the summer sunset piercing through the nakedness of my window, I quickly glanced. There they were, still sitting, awaiting more of my lustful twirls.
Placing the empty bottle down, I bent over plugging the vacuum, to clean some spilled cracker crumbs, on the floor. This wasn’t part of my show, but I had to make this too worth watching. Pushing my body on the vacuum stick, I dance imagining I was holding on to a pole and being paid the highest bid to give Dr. Cunningham a private show.
Finishing my cleaning, I turned down the music and slowly walked to my bedroom. Slipping into a sexy little summer black dress, I arched my body as I pulled it up covering my almost bare bottom… tonight I had plans, for this beauty.
Grabbing a bottle of red wine, I tipped it over to my empty glass. With my iPad in one hand and my wine glass in the other, I slightly bent my backside, pushing the patio door open. My apartment views still stalked by their eyes, I positioned my caboose, on my outdoor sofa, placing my drink and iPad on the side table. Slowly I rubbed my thighs together, rushing my hands up and down and purposely crossing my freshly oil shaved bare legs, purposely ignoring my neighborly admirers.
Rocking my body, I reached grabbing my drink then placing my iPad on my thighs. Sipping on my wine, my eyes now fixed on my iPad, I placed my almost limp fingers on my lips, circling the shape of my mouth, pausing in between strokes for a quick sip and shuffle of my iPad.
Good evening, beautiful, the voice called out.
It was my older neighbor, now standing at the edge of his balcony.
Hello, I called back, with one of my usual innocent afternoon waves.
I hope you are enjoying your evening, he continued, his son now standing, as he casually walked to join his father.
Dr. Cunningham was handsome…tall, muscular in all the right angles and his face chiseled to perfection, with a regal appearance. Pausing his conversation as a car passed, he continued…
My son, Dr. Cunningham, would love to personally say hello.
Hi, I replied with a smile. My very insides filled with giggles for unbeknownst to them my plan had worked.
Nice to see you again, I continued. I hope you are enjoying your afternoon. The words barely rolling off my tongue, he flirtingly replied… The best of all afternoons I must admit, softly biting on his bottom lips, his mouth curled with a mischievous smile.
Join my family for a backyard barbecue, his father interrupted?
Tempted, by this sudden tinge of warmness from my illicit thoughts, as I watch him bite on his lips, waiting on my reply…
With a coy smile fighting every urge in my body, I quickly answered, for I knew if I paused to think, I would have accepted all his indecent proposals for this night and regret tomorrow.
Raincheck… I called out, as he disappointedly accepted my response, still biting on his lips. Thanking them both, I excused my presence. Opening the door, I walked back inside, laughing away knowing that I had succeeded at my role-play. Slowly drawing my blinds close I threw myself on the couch laughing hysterically. I had achieved an A for my first teasing session, a dare only myself knew!
