Who has answers?
Many a times we find ourselves in situations where things, life in general just don’t add up… when nothing seem to make any sense.
The times when even God, just do not appear to be fair with his blessings, because of what we are going through and how we are feeling in the moment. The times when we desperately need answers through his presence, but he too seems so far away from our cries for help and guidance.
Just a sign Lord, to show us you understand, we cry out but…
With so many of these thoughts and life’s everyday cruelest of intentions weighing us down, it's easy to understand how confusion and unworthiness can silently creep in and blindly shred our lives into so many broken, scattered pieces that can fill us with feelings of rage, disappointment, pain, guilt and unforgiveness.
Well at some point on each of our individual life journeys, we will one day go through the triggers of loneliness and side railed in our desperate feeling to be loved and accepted. To hear a word of encouragement, a pleasant hello or feel a gentle touch of a caring warm hand.
So please do tell where we can find answers to learn how to handle the burdens and escalating pressures of this everyday struggle, we are all faced with every day.
In one of my many moments of weakness and mental self-awareness someone quoted me this phrase… “a pounding heart always betrays the anxiety that lies within!”
It took for me many nights pondering those words to fully grasp the meaning and power of this quote, but it happened, and it clicked…
For most of us, it's so much easier to go on with our daily routine wearing our many masks. May it be by burying our emotions, denying our guilt, excusing our mistakes, adjusting to conform to the many emotions beyond our mental capability and never authentically showing up for ourselves when truly needed. Instead, we learn how perfectly to cradle our pain and suffer silently never giving ourselves the chance to accept and understand who we really are. For so many of us, unknowingly we go on ignoring our anxiety and betraying ourselves maybe because of shame and so creating an even greater disillusion to what is real.
We all need to pay attention to our individual selves in our most vulnerable of moments, to learn how best to fight through the shame of our many weaknesses and find a way to overcome what is our innermost fear, pain and uncomfortableness, even when we are reluctant to admit and understand but that unpleasantness of our reality will be the tidy answers, we are desperately seeking and so in need of to survive.
As humans, we have been given too few facts to explain why all this heartache, untrustworthiness, why have we been given such an imperfectness in a world already doomed by so much pain…
Well, I believe despite all this imperfectness, God everyday chooses to love us without judgement and if we pause and be still and ponder on his word he will explain his actions, the ones we deem so unfair in our lives. Other times even in the hustle and bustle of our everyday lives, when we are unable to be still, he will make his presence felt through an encounter, that will feel as real as if we have seen him face to face and then in the moments when we feel all alone, as if we are sitting there desperate in God’s waiting room, waiting for an answer, a sign. It is in these simple heartfelt moments that if we open our minds and hearts just enough to allow him in, then will we be able to hear him say…” just trust me…yes, even when none of it adds up just trust me!’
Just remember that rarely do we find anything we plan for in life to come out right. Somewhere I read that waiting in expectation of things to come makes the heart sick, and that is ever so true.
In a world, where it is so easily for us to judge, accuse and condemn, what powerful vessels we could be if instead we show humility and compassion, because we all need to be accepted and loved and to learn a little faith! For its with faith will we be able to turn the page or pages to find strength and forgiveness to show up for ourselves and others and to accept what we deserve and find the courage to move on from the things we don't deserve on this journey we are on in this meantime.
